Each of us has a standard of what we think is decent when we are in public - the
type of sleeve or length of pants that we have considered and decided we are
comfortable in when out and about. Stop for a second and think about what that
is for yourself. (Go ahead, I’ll wait.)
For some it's more; for some it's less. This is pretty much
the rule of dress that guides our lives every single day when we leave the
house. You know what it is because we all have an embarrassing story like “I
can’t believe they dropped by my house and I was wearing THIS…”
Why it is then that this reasoned, normal, sensible,
everyday standard that we decided upon personally is set aside because there is
a pool of water nearby? I have never understood.
Suddenly the type of clothing I waited 20+ years to only
wear in front of my husband is acceptable to be worn in public. As a
person seeking to be modest, this always made me personally feel hypocritical.
I would never do this in any other arena in my life. Why should I do something
that would be grossly inappropriate anywhere else? (Ever show up to the office
in your swimsuit? Or pick up your kids from school?) Don’t you get that
mortified feeling just thinking about it in any other context? It's the stuff nightmares are made of.
I've talked a lot about this with my husband to find a good
solution. I value his voice for the male opinion and respect that he wants me
to be respected and we both want to honor God with every ounce of us- as a
spirit and a body.
So over time I've moved toward wearing to swim what looks
like what I'd wear to run errands (swimsuit under loose rash guard shirt and normal
length board shorts). To me this just makes sense. I stay true to that standard
I’d already decided upon before the summer swim season started. I feel less
intrepid about appearing in public in basically my underwear.
And you know what? I suddenly never worry about what I'm
wearing! I can run around, lean over, play with the kids, get my picture taken,
get in and out of the water easily, more comfortably talk with other men
around, (hide what I want to hide), and still look sporty. Honestly, I'm not
sad or worried about my shape all the time. And bathing suit shopping is the
worst!
I don't feel legalistic. I feel comfortable with myself,
pleasing to my husband, and available to my family. I also feel less likely to be
drawing attention to myself as I want any attention to me to be toward my heart
for God and His purposes I want to carry out.
So if you are still reading, here are some affirmations to my decision and changes:
- If I am headed to a pool party and DO have to stop at the store, it's no big deal. I look like I have a t-shirt and shorts on.
- We’ve been swimming with friends and I would never post anywhere family pictures because the other, rather modest moms, do Not look flattering in the background. If you are not prepared for your picture to be taken in a swimsuit you are probably not standing or facing in a flattering or modest way. And I would not embarrass them by making those public. Consider, others will not be as kind as me.
- I am not constantly tugging up and pulling down to Maintain modesty. These movements, though well meaning, are also pulling every man's attention toward your tugging.
- I never get sunburn or even have to put suntan lotion much except for my face!
- I am joining the kids at the Y this month for swim lessons and am not nervous about the grandmas who all have their cameras out!
- No more embarrassing moments, when my husband tells me LATER "Uh, your bathing suit needed adjusting when you were talking to the life guard..."
I usually go back to this example: if you were on trip with
some other families and one of the other husbands passed a window and saw you
in your underwear he'd feel awkward, you'd feel embarrassed, you'd might feel
like something needs to be said, the spouses would hear about it, you might
avoid each other; the trip might even be ruined for you all, right? But if you
all met at the beach in bikinis it would be no problem. Why is this in our
society? I just can't make myself "get it."
So while I may
stand alone at times in my principles, I am standing comfortably.
My heart wants to see people living at ease, and walking
closely with Him. These are just my personal encouragements from an honest
heart for any to consider.
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| A pic to show I am not 70 and No, your Grandmother did not put me up to this. |
