More than Baggage

Traveling always makes me want to make a new bag. There's something fresh about picking out fabric and creating something new for a new place. I wanted something flat to pack, lightweight and not too hot, and big enough just to carry a few things as we walk around the camp where we will be working in Germany the next few weeks.

Figuring this one out made my head hurt but I am pretty happy with how it turned out. You can find a link to the pattern in English HERE. I fell in love with its picture on Pinterest. I complicated mine by placing my stripe at the bottom of the bag, using one-directional fabric, and added an inner pocket.

Lining and inside pocket

But my main motivation for sewing this week was that I my son and I have been suffering from eczema for years and his pediatrician suggested going on a dairy-free diet, so I needed to be prepared perhaps to carry my own food wherever we go (and well a new bag makes it a tiny bit more bearable!) He also tested allergic to egg, peanuts, and walnuts (and the cat). I haven't been tested yet myself but decided to cut all of these out in case they affect me too and so I can sympathize and cook for him. Stopping all of these cold-turkey while traveling has been sooo hard! But the surprise more was all of the feelings and fears that rose out of me. And I say rose because that implies that they were always there.

One of the first mornings I cried because we went out to breakfast and I could not find a single thing to eat. I cried at Wal-Mart because they had none of the dairy substitutes I could find at home. I cried when we got to our destination because the week ahead with my tiny bag of groceries seemed so bleak. My stomach began to quiver and feel anxious on the way to the cafeteria. Beneath it all I was resenting God for our issues and growing bitter at how narrow (and tasteless) my world seemed. Irrelevant lies began to fill my thoughts about God's fairness and my ugliness and my job as a mom. And I think I was actually grieving the loss of freedom knowing I was headed to Europe soon and wanted to be able to pick up anything delicious-looking without reading any labels.  I know, so dramatic and self-pitying; evidently the sleeping giants in my heart. I sought a few faithful friends to lift my weary heart before the Father and experienced the reality check of surrendering my relatively small trials to Him in exchange for peace. Light again shone through the gray skies that had smothered me.

I recently read "Waking the Dead" by John Eldridge and have been chewing on his idea of caring for my heart or for the heart of others. If anything from this month I want to walk away with a sensitivity to the heart issues that may cling to anything that we go through.
I could have just paid attention to my hunger or inner pity-party, but the real issues stemmed from my heart, not my stomach. There were lies to reject, confessions to be made, and hope to receive.
Isn't that the way it always is? With anyone around me, what am I doing to check in on and care for their heart? It's not just a "bad day with the kids", but a longing for stillness and peace and a return to thoughts that are eternal and not just attending to immediate needs. It's usually not "just a sickness", but the anxieties and lies that chase after you in your weakness. I have been asking God to give me ears to really hear what is going on at the heart-level when others speak. We are such complicated beings of body, soul, spirit and emotion. Too often we carry on like we are one dimensional beings because it takes too much time to ponder the heart and lay all that lies beneath before the Lord. But through the evident multi-layers exposed through my own problems I ask Him to help me discern them clearly in the stories of others. And care enough to address it.

Apparently a little ice cream withdrawal is food for the spirit.



 "Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life." -Proverbs 4:23 

The Love family is going to Germany

Three summers ago Donnie and I traveled to the Mediterranean region with a large group from our Church. We spent the week in the rhythms of corporate worship and reflection and prayer walking. On our way home we had a layover in Frankfurt, Germany where we dashed into the city to enjoy some pastries and coffee and a few sights. I found myself singing hymns quietly and praying as I walked, as we had done on our group trip, for fear that none in this place were doing so. We were learning what it meant to yearn for God to be worshiped in every place, as He ought to be. From this short stop, we found Germany to be beautiful and interesting and felt lead to return at some point.

Since Donnie is Word of Life Bible Institute NY alumni, when we got home we looked to see if there was a WOL Germany, and the director there was one of his classmates from NY! Two years ago, we contacted him and began this conversation about coming over to serve. This year WOL Germany actually contacted us in the hopes that we would help them launch their first English camp for mostly unchurched teens ages 14-20. Our role would be to teach English by teaching the Bible at the daily Bible meetings. My sister Valerie, who went to WOL Florida, was also invited to help lead the worship teams and has had her ticket paid in full by someone from her Church in Georgia. God is working so many things together regarding this adventure and we are excited!

That is our story and here are the specifics:

·         Donnie will teach for a week at Word of Life NY Ranch (6-9 year olds) and for four weeks at Word of Life Germany. We are told that the majority of those attending the camp are German nationals that are not Christians, but serious students who want to learn conversational English. A major part of this experience is that they get exposure to “native American speakers.” (Honestly, this statement made us laugh a bit and we were somewhat tempted to show up wearing moccasins and a headdress, especially having come from the Ranch). But to the point, as part of the English training, Donnie will be teaching the book of Galatians from July 12^th-August 10^th. He chose the book of Galatians because it clarifies aspects of the gospel such as the relationship between faith, works, the law and the fruits of the spirit. Both Jennifer and Donnie will be teaching workshops on the topic of their choice (Juggling, knitting, balloon animals, sewing, etc.).

We would love your prayer and support! If you would like more updates or information, please email me at jennilee.love@gmail.com.

Our son wanted to help to raise support and worked hard on his drawings and painting and sold them in my husband's college class. He did very well! We are so proud of him!

Sewing for the Soul

One little lady has changed my crafting life- my squishy, sweet little niece. I happen to live in an area with a J.Crew Warehouse which frequently has sales. It is a crazy scene of adults who wait in long lines in the rain, and pillage through huge boxes of random clothes, hauling along trash bags of their spoils. But the best part to me is that most of the kids clothing is less than $6! I have two boys and they love the preppy shirts they think are "cowboy", but the hunt has become a little more fun now that I can dig through the adorable girl's clothes. So the challenge I have given myself has been to find pieces I can add to, making the ubiquitous 4/5 size shirts into 2/3 size dresses for little J. Here are a few of my latest, but I am sorry some are not modeled. Most often I have to ship them off and hope they fit!

I like buying a shirt so I don't have to make sleeves, so I added lace to this to make longer for a dress. I was going to add another layer beneath, but liked the simple beauty of these colors together.

For this sweet shirt I took in the sides a little and added the denim band and a few button accents.

I loved this little ruffled shirt and added fabric beneath it to look like a shirt over a skirt.

But trying to find time to sew or craft each week is a challenge with home-schooling, part-time work, and other responsibilities, but I feel for me it has slid more into the category of NEED (as I wrote about here).
I remember the first time I make a little orange tote bag with a flap and a button and I couldn't believe I MADE something that looks like it might have come from a store. I was so proud and impressed by the silly thing, hanging it up in the dining room. In a funny way it gave me a glimpse into the pride, delight and enjoyment that God must have upon His creation. I looked at that little bag and somehow felt more loved. It's amazing how personal my God must be to bring revelation into that simple moment of honestly, unimpressive handiwork. But He did.
And prayer-crafting became intertwined and an addiction.

I think I have figured out that in my little world of repeatedly washing the same dishes, and clothing, and floors, that creating gives me an opportunity to make something more lasting. Outside the cycle of the monotonous, something I work on just might be worn and kept and loved. And that is very satisfying. It has become an intentional need. Does anyone feel the same way?

Returning the Meaning to Easter

Before it gets too far away from the season, I want to share our passion for celebrating Passover. There is such a richness to becoming part of a service that has been observed for thousands of years, and a meal that Jesus Himself sat down to eat. It has normally been an elaborate part of early spring for us. We have low tables we set up, long tablecloths to iron, hand stamping placecards with the kids, hosting 10 guests, and planning a meal and driving all over our scarcely Jewish area to gather what is needed. But this year with too many major things going on, we decided to observe a simple dinner with just our children on Resurrection Sunday. We spend the week with mid-day and evening readings of Jesus' last week and this is a good culmination, tying in His work of redemption for us, as also characterized in the rescue of God's people through Moses in the Exodus.

There are several things I appreciate about this evening and its part in our lives. Like my role as a woman lighting the Passover candles, giving light to the table, just as Jesus was born of a woman, giving light to the world. The toughness we learned last year of Why the youngest is chosen to answer the 4 questions when it would be easier to chose the oldest. So they are not left out of being taught! This exercise is such a good reminder.
And the humbling ritual of my husband washing our feet as Jesus did for His disciples. It's awkward and freezing and hard not to giggle, and we come to the table with relatively clean feet, but sobering to think of Jesus stooped to wash the dust of this world off the feet of His closest friends that did not understand why and did not fully appreciate what He was doing.

I appreciate the small moments like my 7 year old putting on a wrinkled white button up shirt and tucking it in, to look "special" for the occasion. The joy in hearing him read the responses for the first time since he has learned this year to read. Their excitement for the chocolate coins (which I bought instead of making this year, cutting corners everywhere I could!) given in exchange for the hidden matzah. And ending the evening on the floor as we took requests for hymns and my 3 year old chose the "Grow, grow, grow" song.
It wasn't big or perfect or the best thing I have ever organized but it was special for us. And its meaning and significance has easily replaced other distracting traditions of this season. I pray it will be something my children will grow to understand and always remember.


"Truly, we can say Hallelujah for the great redemption which God has wrought on our behalf."
We lift the cup of Praise because He has made us His people.

What my heart asks for

It amazes me how hard it is to write the first word.

I can’t imagine being a novelist with my mind filled with characters, conversations and plot twists that have all been thought out and are just waiting their turn to be exposed, that they can’t type fast enough. I am only one character and can barely narrow down my own story. 

But this year has been one of great self-revelation, guided gently by my Holy Spirit. I am learning to ask Why? in these moments of paralysis that halt me from doing the next thing I know I ought to do. And the answer is always traced to one culprit. A lie. In this case, as I sit staring at the screen it is, What have you got worth saying? And while many might casually agree to this after reading my ramblings, I realize this question is not posed in my heart by the Lord, Who has done so much and said so much that His encouragement would not be to be quiet.  And I am finding more often that all of my negative thoughts, discouragements, and excuses are all traced to their own individual lies. Lies that I am ready to exchange for freedom one by one. Now that I am aware of them, and that is the key.

So if you are interested in walking with me, I am determined more so to be focused on the Truth in my life and sharing it. To give the true life-giving parts of my life the attention they deserve.  I hope that I can encourage you to find the same - the things that come easily, that you could stay up all night to do, and make your heart race at their thought. And then doing them. But that takes intentionality.  What I have discovered through paying attention to my own heart and what friends say of me is that my weeks NEED to be filled with Intentional:

*Time with my children, teaching in everything
*Time alone with God’s Word, loving it, making sense of it, and sharing it

*Creating something tangible with my hands and giving

*Considering and incorporating meaningful, Christ-centered days/holidays

These excite my heart and I hope each happen often enough that I can write about them, because I guess I like that too.

~Jen Love

for mandi